LOL Riley, Ain't that the truth!!!!!!
We had one of ours go get the other cookie from a purse one time way back, and proceeded to empty all the contents on the table! (yet) to get it.
C.
billy bob and the trooper.
- Thread starter buckhorn76
- Start date
LOL Riley, Ain't that the truth!!!!!!
We had one of ours go get the other cookie from a purse one time way back, and proceeded to empty all the contents on the table! (yet) to get it.
C.
I can attest to the fact that dogs somehow know how many treats you have in your pocket. When going for a walk, I usually take a few doggy treats. The first time a dog sees you it generally barks. After a few treats as I pass by, the tails wag when they see me coming. A neighbours dog won't go away after the first threat. He's back until they are all gone. Then he goes and lays down and eats the last one. If people were even a quarter as smart as they think they are and half as smart as they think a dog is, they might end up on a par with the dog. Not likely though.
I had to stop taking treats to the park because my dogs wouldn't leave me alone and play with the other dogs, or if I was looking one direction I would turn my head to see a dog face half buried in my jacket pocket. Damn Danes!
That 911 call was funny. Amazing how calm the girl was. I imagine the dad was staying pretty calm too for her sake.
That 911 call was funny. Amazing how calm the girl was. I imagine the dad was staying pretty calm too for her sake.
- Thread starter
- #126
" so far so good " - that's funny.
Just hit the brakes until he leaned to hold on...Works for me! I bet all the other dogs stuck in vehicles are jealous when they see dog fully out in the wind!
Wow, best deal anyone ever made. One beer!
Sounds like 'Dawg' has learned to hang on real well.....even when Daddy is sliding down the road on his butt......
God speed them both.
C.
Sounds like 'Dawg' has learned to hang on real well.....even when Daddy is sliding down the road on his butt......
God speed them both.
C.
So, there are four guys talking about what they think is the fastest thing in the world.
The first guy says that thinking is the fastest thing because it happens instantaneously. You think a thought, boom, it's there.
The second guy says that blinking is the fastest thing. It's so fast you can't even see yourself blink.
The third guy said that turning on a light is even faster. You flip a switch and right at that moment, the light is on before the switch even clicks!
The last guy said, well, yah, all those things are pretty fast but they aren't faster than diarrhea.
The three guys look at each other. What do you mean?
Well, when I had diarrhea, before I could think, blink or turn on a light, I crapped my pants.
The first guy says that thinking is the fastest thing because it happens instantaneously. You think a thought, boom, it's there.
The second guy says that blinking is the fastest thing. It's so fast you can't even see yourself blink.
The third guy said that turning on a light is even faster. You flip a switch and right at that moment, the light is on before the switch even clicks!
The last guy said, well, yah, all those things are pretty fast but they aren't faster than diarrhea.
The three guys look at each other. What do you mean?
Well, when I had diarrhea, before I could think, blink or turn on a light, I crapped my pants.
So, there are four guys talking about what they think is the fastest thing in the world.
The first guy says that thinking is the fastest thing because it happens instantaneously. You think a thought, boom, it's there.
The second guy says that blinking is the fastest thing. It's so fast you can't even see yourself blink and don't even know you're doing it.
The third guy said that turning on a light is even faster. You flip a switch and right at that moment, the light is on before the switch even clicks!
The last guy said, well, yah, all those things are pretty fast but they aren't faster than diarrhea.
The three guys look at each other. What do you mean?
Well, when I had diarrhea, before I could think, blink or turn on a light, I crapped my pants.
The first guy says that thinking is the fastest thing because it happens instantaneously. You think a thought, boom, it's there.
The second guy says that blinking is the fastest thing. It's so fast you can't even see yourself blink and don't even know you're doing it.
The third guy said that turning on a light is even faster. You flip a switch and right at that moment, the light is on before the switch even clicks!
The last guy said, well, yah, all those things are pretty fast but they aren't faster than diarrhea.
The three guys look at each other. What do you mean?
Well, when I had diarrhea, before I could think, blink or turn on a light, I crapped my pants.
So I was asked what I could do to help fix my grandson's stroller. Seems it was in need of a complete overhaul.......... Here is what I came up with... LOL
- Thread starter
- #133
funny stuff brian !!! what happens when the chute deploys ???
LOL, good one Brian -- that's what we need on a wintry day like today: a little humour....
C.
C.
No hood ... must be a rear engine model.
Windex Tip
I haven't checked ' snopes.com ' to see if this actually works or not . . .
But they say,
If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.
I haven't checked ' snopes.com ' to see if this actually works or not . . .
But they say,
If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.
Precious
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little
old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had
cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said
She would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took
down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was
in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls
and a stack of money totalling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,'
she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage
was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you,
I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little
old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had
cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said
She would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took
down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was
in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls
and a stack of money totalling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,'
she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage
was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you,
I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their
holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the Christmas holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and
they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses,
and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore!
They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags
because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got it
fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they
don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with
hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and
go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.
The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot
luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his
retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.
Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
holiday away from school.
One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the Christmas holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.
They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and
they moved to Batemans Bay where everyone lives in nice little houses,
and so they don't have to mow the grass anymore!
They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags
because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got it
fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they
don't do them very well.
There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with
hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.
He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and
go cruising in their golf carts!
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.
And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.
Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house.
The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot
luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his
retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.
When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.
Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.
Humane Wildlife experts taking a winter bear census
right in the hibernation den.
RMR: Bear Tagging - YouTube
right in the hibernation den.
RMR: Bear Tagging - YouTube